Today, honestly, I am struggling a bit to not feel discouraged.

I have been working on this YouTube channel for years now, and although I know I do some things right, because it's consistently growing, it's so slowly.....

I was so excited about the livestream I did yesterday. I upped my game by investing in a third party streaming service. Although, as with all things, there is a learning curve. I could not see myself on the screen. I could not be sure anyone could hear me. I had no idea if anyone was on the stream or asking questions. I could not find the reverse screen button so I could not use the good cameras on the phone. Ugh.

When I went back to look at it, it was grainy, my face was in the shadows a lot of the time, my makeup was running towards the end....and it seems to have gotten very few views. I spent literally 5 days thinking about and preparing for that livestream, creating scripts, contemplating my messaging, hopeful and nervous this would be the 'break out' and suddenly my videos were going to take off on YouTube.

This morning, that does not seem to be the case. But I get it. My videos are not always the most entertaining to watch as I am so busy trying to teach horse behavior. And it's hard to predict what horse behavior you will see, so it's hard to prepare a good video. And it's hard to predict the lighting, the weather, all the things.

I woke up early and poured over the analytics, hoping for something incredible, and I was instead shocked and a little sad and embarrassed to see how I put out there yet another poor quality video. I do think I have improved my messaging (I hope), now to just figure out a way to produce a video someone actually wants to sit down and watch, too.

Why does it matter? Because animal lovers matter. You matter. Animals matter. At least, to me. And their life, and the quality of their life, and yours. And I know I have wisdom to share to make that a lot better, and that is what I dream of. A day when I scroll through YouTube videos of horse training and it's a lot of people using kinder, gentler, methods, that are actually scientifically validated, and improve your quality of life and mental health, in the process, and leave all this Natural Horsemanship BS behind us making being around horses safer, and saner.

Now I am giggling because my house rooster just jumped up onto a ledge and is making the most adorable soft clucking noises like "wow look at me go, I am such a big boy!". Yes buddy, you are so smart and brave.

And I just have to continue to be brave, and keep trying. Like we all do, am I right?

Today I am grateful for my courage, my resilience, my refusal to give up. I am grateful to Natalia for showing up for me for my entire live stream yesterday and showing people what a healthy relationship with your horse looks like. I am grateful for our house rooster who helps me lighten up and not take things so seriously. And I am grateful for the other lessons the rooster is teaching me too, like restraint because I want to cuddle him so badly and he doesn't want that yet from me, yet, he has NOT ONCE tried to peck at or hurt me in anyway. (That is not the same for others, sorry Cisco kitty that he has decided he is higher up on the totem pole and pecked at your ear).

What about you, what are you grateful for today? What are you proud of yourself for? Have you taken a moment lately to thank yourself for showing up? For keeping on when you didn't want to? For trying hard every day to be a little better than you were the day before? Because honestly, that is all we can do.

​So I am proud of you for trying. For showing up. For doing your part to make the world a kinder, gentler place for animals. Wishing you the best day ever, you Animal Loving Angel. Don't just wish it, get out there and make it so! God bless you all!

​​​​​​Check out my YouTube channel for a daily "Good Morning!" from the rescues and lots of free tips and training resources. https://www.youtube.com/@the1drq